I just watched CNN’s interview of the foreperson in the Brandon Craig trial. She said most of the jurors felt “he was the shooter,” but they did not feel the state had made its case.

Have courage. (Or, perhaps I should say, hold fast to your principles.) Thank you for doing your best.

I know how it feels to acquit someone who committed what I felt was a heinous crime: You’re in a state of shock. You’re angry at the justice system for putting you in this impossible situation. You aren’t to blame for this situation. You wish you could have brought a modicum of justice to this world, but you couldn’t bring yourself to let the government (which rules all our lives) take away the life or liberty of a fellow citizen without evidence that left you absolutely certain. If you had convicted an innocent man in such circumstances, you would be guilty of doing harm yourselves.

I hope no one berates you for your verdict—certainly not the press.

In my case, it was the judge who came into the deliberation room after the trial and angrily explained to us why our verdict was wrong. I subsequently learned that’s considered to be judicial misconduct, but at the time it was stinging. I already felt bad enough that I hadn’t been able to do something to make right the awful thing that had happened to a little girl.

What’s more, rather like the Craig case, I felt the defendant was actually guilty of something very, very evil. I thought he was likely a serial stalker and rapist of children. I had complained about this during deliberations to my fellow jurors.

And like the Craig case, I know that this person is free today. He skipped bond during the trial and wasn’t there to hear the verdict of guilty of aggravated sexual assault.

Learning he had even been out on bail angered me, too. There was no reason he should have been granted bail, because he had committed a violent crime and was a flight risk, since he was an alien (probably illegal). How could the justice system let this sort of thing happen? Why hadn’t they charged him with stalking or laying in wait or something as well as sexual assault? Why hadn’t the cops tried to tie him to other such attacks in the neighborhood? Why did Illinois’ laws define a child as someone under the age of 13? If it had been 14, he would have been charged as a child predator.

You were fortunate to serve with Judge Martinez. He strikes me as a man who believes in the jury system. He seems to have done everything he could to ensure both sides in the case had all the rights and opportunities to which they were entitled.

I hope you won’t give up on jury duty after this. You’ve been through the wringer. You did your duty. The system still needs you.